You are destroying yourself and you call it love. You call it loyalty or being a good person but in the cold light of reality it is none of those things. It is self-sabotage wrapped in a moral blanket.
There is a terrifying
truth about human nature that most people are too afraid to admit. It is a
lesson that civilized society tries to bury. The lesson is; not everyone can be saved and more importantly, not everyone wants to
be saved. There are people in this world who are not looking for a hand up
but rather an anchor and if you offer them your hand, they will not climb out
of the water. They will pull and use your body as a raft to keep themselves
afloat while you slowly drown in the depth of their chaos.
I am sure you know
who I am talking about. Perhaps you have met them, you are bleeding because of
one right now, the friend who is always in a crisis, the partner who drains
your soul but demands your patience, the family member who takes your money,
your energy and your peace and pays you with resentment.
You try to fix or
heal them. You think that if you just love them enough, if you sacrifice enough
they will change. But Machiavelli will look at you with cold eyes and tell you
the brutal truth; a man who tries to be
good at all times is bound to come to ruin among so many who are not. Compassion
without boundaries is not a virtue. It is a weakness. It is a fatal flaw that
predators, parasites and the willfully ignorant will exploit until you are
nothing but a hollow shell.
Let us perform a
surgery on your conscience. We are going to cut away the rotting tissue of
blind kindness. We are exploring the types of people you must never under any
circumstances try to save. This is not about being cruel but about survival. It
is about preserving your power so you can use it for those who actually deserve
it. If you are tired of being the one who gives everything and gets nothing but
pain in return, listen closely this might be the most important lesson of your
life. Be warned, once you see human nature through this lens you may never go
back to the comforting lie of ignorance.
As we derive into
these types of people, you must understand the mechanics of the savior trap. Why
do you do it? Why do you rush into the burning building yet the person inside
lit the match? It is because you have been conditioned to believe that your
worth is tied to your utility. You believe that goodness is measured by how
much pain you can endure for others. You think that saying no is an act of
betrayal. Machiavelli viewed this act as strategic suicide. In his world and
the world we live in today, energy, power and time are finite resources. When you
pour your resource into a black hole, you are not only wasting them but also
actively funding the destruction of your own future.
Imagine a ship has
limited amount of supplies. If you bring everyone on board, the sick, the mad
and the saboteurs the ship does not become a haven. It sinks and everyone dies
including the innocent and you. To save the ship you must be ruthless on whom
you allow on deck. This is a concept of therapeutic darkness. It is the
understanding that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let someone
hit the bottom because it is the only place where illusion shatters. It is the
only place where they are forced to stand up or stay down. When you save them,
you steal their lesson and interrupt the natural law of cause and effect.
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